or, somehow my expressions would simply be noticed through any sort of my writings: blog, aim, message, etc.. That way, I wouldn't ever have to talk and I would never lose someone again. I didn't know expressing my feelings weren't the same thing as talking. I'm so bad it. Shit, I can't even write. None of this makes sense now does it? Let's just say I feel like shit, I feel alone, I feel like its nearly impossible to say what crosses through mind. But I am sorry. And I am trying, but its hard when I feel like I'm always being lied too, or unwanted, or even alienated at times. I feel like I'm some sort of trophy or something. Sounds good though, doesn't it? It doesn't feel good. I mean, one minute, to the right group of people I''m being shown off, but another minute to another group of people, I'm just there. It's hard. And, it hurts. I'd probably never say it, but it does, it really does.
I don't feel like I know much anymore other than the fact that I feel completely horrible. I'm so tired of regretting the things I don't say. Mentally, I know how to fix it, but I just can't physically speak with my mouth.
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