MY SOLDIER

When you're feeling sad and blue, don't you know that I will always be here for you? When everything just makes us go out of my mind just know that I will always have the time for you. You say that I am your influence. You should know that you inspire me now until the end. I'll help you get through the thick and thin. And I know you'll remember when I say: You are strong, strong as a SOLDIER even when winds are tough, you always keep it together. You are strong, strong as a SOLDIER. I know you'll get through anything 'cause you're strong, strong as a SOLDIER.

-AJ Rafael

<3

"Beautiful. There is a sad beauty to pain, it speaks of love and loss and only tells of how great the love. It is strength and character that transform that power and piece of life well lived into new life and new love, without devaluing the first."

SURPRISE shoot

The SURPRISE shoot I had about 2 days ago was a success and one of my favorites. The pictures were taken through a digital camera, so don't mind the quality. Oh, and in a junky backyard. The meaning behind the shoot was for a boyfriend. It was suppose to be a surprise, but things change. It's okay though =] If you'd like to comment them, go to my myspace and do so. I'll love you twice as long as forever.<33

so small

winner at a losing game

Baby, look here at me, have you ever seen me this way?
I've been fumbling for words through the tears and the hurt and the pain.
I'm gonna lay it all out on the line tonight.
And, I think that it's time to tell this uphill fight goodbye.

Better Today

You see it all in my smile.
You hear it all in my laugh.
The way I walk, you hear me talk.
And know I'm no longer sad.
I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had.
I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad.

I've got a different approach to dealing with emotion.
Keeping control of my boat, while drifting on this ocean.
Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my eyes.
Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry.
And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.
Stand up now, stand up now and I promise not before long.

You'll be feeling better today.
Much better today, much better today.
So much better.
You're feeling better today.
Much better today, much better today.
Much better today.
You're feeling better today.
Much better today, much better today.
So much better.
You're feeling better today.
Much better today, much better today.
You're feeling so much better.

I know about down and out.
I know about when it gets tough.
Losing my fight, can't see the light.
And you just wanna give up.
I know about being depressed.
By needing someone to love.
I also know by standing up and saying enough is enough.

Oh, I've got a different approach to dealing with emotion.
Keeping control of my boat, while drifting on this ocean.
Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears out of my eyes.
Unless happiness be the reason I decide to cry.
And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.
Stand up now, stand up now and I promise not before long.

You'll be feeling better today.
Much better today, much better today.
So much better.

Lyrics by: Neyo

little brother's graduation

My little brother graduated on June 09, 2009 at Long Beach Poly and I swear, its the proudest day of my life. I've never been so proud. ever.

All Lonestar

Lets Be Us Again:
Tell me what I have to do tonight
Cause I'd do anything to make it right
Let's be us again
I'm sorry for the way I lost my head
I dont why I said the things I said
Lets be us again

I'll Die Trying:
You've been livin' way to long in broken promiseland
Your dreams crushed and scattered like a million grains of sand
I'd love to be your redemption but I am just a man
And I may never be a hero
But I'm a rock you can lean on

hello youtube

take me there

There's a place in your heart where nobody's been, take me there. Things nobody knows, not even your friends, take me there.  Tell me about your momma, your daddy, your home town, show me around. I wanna see it all, don't leave anything out.

I wanna know, everything about you and I wanna go, down every road you've been. Where your hopes and dreams and wishes live, where you keep the rest of your life hid. I wanna know the girl behind that pretty stare, take me there.

Your first real kiss, your first ture love, you were scared, show me where. You learned about life, spent your summer nights, without a care, take me there.  I wanna roll down mainstreet and backroads like you did when you were a kid.  What makes you who you are, tell me what your story is.

photo credit: stephen ly.

soso's going away dinner

last night the jamba juice family of bixby knolls decided to have a dinner because it was her last day at our store. :[  we had some booomb korean bbq!  after we were all done eating we jammed out some music and started dancing in the parking lot.  omg, it was so much fun making a fool of ourselves. videos were even recorded. hahaha  after our lovely dinner together we went over to our GM's place, Mike, and blazed and drank our asses off.  let me also add in, he's good at mixing drinks! I loved my matcha green tea drink. hahaha [inside joke]  the night was so much fun with dancing, dumb freestyling, and lots of laughters, even splits videos/pictures hahaha.  you had to be there, if not, you really missed out.

hollywood

one of the very few pictures i actually look my height. haha

if you weren't there, you missed out. nothing but dance and electro music were playing that night. it was sooooo much fun. I love clubbing in hollywood. funny thing was that the club was next to what i would call thai town. hahaha

Ally V.

Meet Ally V. who's currently booking photo shoots!
myspace : http://www.myspace.com/missvizzle

her website : http://www.wix.com/allyvizzard/allyphotographer

twitter : http://twitter.com/allyvizzard

be sure to check these sites out. she's good!
p.s. isn't she cute?!

SUCCESS

So, for those who don't know so well on the personal note, I have a passion for cheerleading. And, after about a year, I finally got my full downs from practically everything (heel stretch, arabasque, and liberty). If you also didn't know, I'm the worst twister in the world. I'm so excited I got them now. Watch out double fulls, I'm coming after you.

double-o-ghost

http://www.myspace.com/doubleoghost

Double-O Ghost is Chris, Alex and Kyle making music for your enjoyment, and their own. Stay tuned for shows, photos, music, and witty banter.

this band is damn right amazing. i went to one of their shows a couple of weeks back, and oh man i had so much fun. check them out on their myspace. chris walker, a friend of mine, and an awesome photographer plays the drums. get at them =]

Baby says boutique

http://www.babysaysboutique.com

"Purchasing and reusing second hand clothing will significantly reduce the severe toll placed on the environment through the production of new clothing. Reusing clothing is great for the environment

DS Items for sale

price: $20.00

(micro sd is NOT included. It's sold separately and is $15.00

together is $35.00)

Pink Nintendo DS for sale

Price: $60.00
Includes charger and a MS3 DS Real

games included in the card:
Elite Beat Agents
Pokemon Pearl
Chrono Trigger FIX
MegaMan Battle Network
MS7
Dragon Ball Origins
Age of Empires Mytholgies

(if you do not like the games, you can delete them and download the games you want into the M3DS Real)

message me at jessicanary@hotmail.com for more questions or more info

So you think you can dance

If you are interested in going to watch the show "so you think you can
dance" on thursday, June 11th email me at jessicanary@hotmail.com.

Retarted

I'm "retarted" for working at Jamba juice at 5am, going to school, cheer, do privates, choreograph, and coach.
I'm "retarted" for getting so overwhelmed with the busy schedule I have on a week. Better yet, a day. I'm "retarted" because apparently I have way too many allergies and I can't ever seen to get enough sleep.

im so damn "retarted".
But believe me, i'm working my way to gettig somewhere. And, if it makes me "retarted" there's no way in hell would I be a 19 year old working one job and a college drop out.

So deal with it or don't. Because heck, if i'm retarted I don't know what you are.

Strong<3

I've been so busy these past couple of weeks that I've been so deprived of sleep. Yesterday was my first day off of work in so long.

Well, Ive still been having my other jobs and dance/cheer. I've been so exhausted, but I'm still in love with the life I have. So, I've been told that lately I haven't been smiling. Don't get me wrong, I do have a lot of bad days, but I swear, when I'm dancing, cheering, or with my guy, nothing makes me more happy. So, if you don't see me with any of those things; you see my busy, frustrating, exhausting oh life. But keep mind: I love my life.

So, as I'm blogging I'm watching Marley and Me and it's at the sad point of the movie. Marley is super hurt. Poor dog...makes me want to cry.

Insider

A look at my photos on my iphone.

A wanna start video blogging but I don't know how. A coworker of mine said l should so do it because I'm so hyper nearly all the time. Ahaha I guess.

I've been so tired and overwhelmed lately with work, school, dance, and even cheer. I met up with an old highschool friend yesterday and she couldn't help mentioning how much smaller Ive become. And by smaller he meant skinner. So here's the little thing that so many don't keep in mind; I'm busy. If I'm lucky, I get a day off, and with that day, I use it as an errand day. So believe me, I'm not on a diet, I'm not starving myself, I am just always on a run.

I want some bomb Mexican food right now. Mmmm man. It's been a while
since I've ate out and I'm pretty much proud of myself. But I feel
like I'm dying. Hahaha

And, I miss that guy in the background. Yenno, the one where you can
only see his black and white printed shirt. <333

Someone get me these in a 2 or 2 1/2.

Illegaltender Clothing

Illegal tender clothing is for those willing to take a walk on the wild side. Designed for an era of maximalism, illegal tender thinks laterally. Clothing only for the wild at heart steeped in eclectic nostalgia giving way to the rock n roll spirit. Reality bites, so we bite back with our outlook on fashion. Getting real is the new cool and voices like ours are loud and clear. Looking Forward, Looking Back, its like nothing you've ever seen.

www.illegaltender.bigcartel.com
www.myspace.com/illegaltenderclothing

Okay, so it's now 6:16 am. And tell me I'm wide awake right now. I woke up around 430ish because I had the mad munchies. So, I ate some left over spaghetti, and apparently it got me staying awake. I'm still hungry, tired, but wide awake. Oh Mann, someone help me.

P.S last night was the most fun I had in such a long time.

Woman Like Me

Do you think you could fall for a woman like me? Cause I find it hard to trust, I need too much, and I really don't believe in love.

Do you think that I could be the girl of your dreams? Sometimes I don't let things go, get emotional, sometimes I'm just get out of control.

Decide for a mintue before you get too deep into it because not everything is as it seems. It's hard loving a woman like me.

on the iPhone

"The way to gain a good reputation a to endeavor what you appear to be."

So, I have this thing called re quote machine on my iPhone and I figured I post it up.

On the other note; I really need to find a way to work on my horrible sleeping habits. I wake up pretty early almost everyday with work(so) and, me sleeping at 3 am every morning isn't doing me any good. I normally get super exhausted by like 7, but don't bother with the naps. Oh mann, I am retarted. Haha

Okay, so I practically started my first day of cheer practice today. I'm actually really looking foward to this new team. And, of course, me being the way that I am, I got all nervous and pretty much hit my little nervous points. I really have to get over it. Haha, but when I did get over it for a bit, I was back to being a tight. Thanks to by lovely bases <3. Speaking of cheerleading, by backhand spring feels as if I'm back to starting fresh again. I haven't practiced it in so long that my body isn't aware of it anymore. Private lessons and gymnastics here I come.

Alright, even if I know that more than likely I won't go to sleep, good night, blogspotters.

P.S I just blogged on by iPhone. Yay <33

Plain White T's

Givin more love than I've ever had,
make it all better when I'm feeling sad,
tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not.
make it feel good when I hurt so bad barely even mad
i'm so glad i found you. I love being around you.

you make it easy, its easy as 1-2, 1,2,3,4
theres only one thing two do, three words for you, I love you.
theres only one way two say those three words. that's what i'll do, i love you.


So, i heard this when i had my iPhone radio playing and this song came up. and, omg, i'm soooo in love with this song. it's so relaxing and cute. mmhmm

I shouldn't be sad or upset at the situation, right? I mean, shouldn't I just be understanding? I'm trying so hard to hold it back and just sit and understand every bit of why. Truth is, I do. But I sure as hell don't want too. It's not fair on my part.. At least I don't think so. I think I deserve a little bit of alone time..I really do...

YOGI the Corgi

Isn't he the cutest puppy ever? You can't tell in the pictures, but omg! he has the shortest and most stubiest feet ever. hahahaha We went to Cerritos Mall to get me my Hello Kitty t-shirt and ended up buying a puppy! he was orginally over 1400 but were got him for 1108. Yay us =]

update!

So, I really haven't blogged in such a long time.  And, let me tell you, you guys missed out on a lot.   I don't feel like getting in too much detail either. haha =P Before I continue though, tell me why am I up right now? It's 2:57 and of course, I have another busy day ahead.

So, my planned vacation was cancelled.  it devastated me for days when I found out.  BUT,  I recently just had an UNPLANNED little, but super relaxing and most loving vacation yesterday and a bit today.  I'd love to do it again.  Well, that is when I have enough $$ to do it again! haha

Ohhh, mann. MY BABY, is so damn amazing.

But anyways, after about three attempts I finally got my iPhone and I don't think it's such a great idea for me.  I'm on it wayyyyy too much. hahahha

My photography myspace is now up.  But they're just the pictures taken from my digital camera and edited afterwards.  I'll upload the "cool" ones when I decide I wanna be more out there.  Speaking of photography, my rocker friend, STEVEN LOPEZ, asked me if he can have a shoot with me.  After calling me 'soon to be cliche' ahaha.  I'm so excited for his shoot! it's probably going to be my most revealing one, but I'm sure his art will take over it.

I feel like I've just written an essay. ahha good night/morning, blogheads.

myspace photograpy

ADD:
www.myspace.com/jnaryphotos

all pictures are taken from a Sony Cyber-shot and edited by me.

The Keo

Because, Keo's favorite color is purple, I decided tp name my hair, THE KEO. haha! This is just the first step. I think its a bit faded, so I'll retouch again in 2 weeks for a more blueish purpleish.

opposites attract

believe me, we practically have nothing in common. mm, but there is something that keeps me going to him. another amazing night doing nothing. and, he's my favorite boy.

Gutter Fairy Vintage

Gutter Fairy Vintage is a convenient online boutique where you can shop vintage and used clothing, accessories and shoes without having to leave home!!! Around 20+ new items are listed weekly and most start at only $9.99 and $12.99. We ship very quickly and worldwide.

www.myspace.com/gutterfairyvintage

business meeting

So, I had another successful business meeting today. It went by so well that I'm so excited to see what's coming up next!! I had the most guest than anyone else, yay me! I'm placing in my first order Monday morning, and guest what? I reached my 600! mhmmm talk about great.

But, now I'm pretty exhausted. Due to having only 3 hours asleep because LoverBoy decides to come over and cuddle with me. I'm not complaining though. =]

And, when I wake up, Imma cook myself some lovely dinner.

P.S.
LEAH DENG is the first person to book a photoshoot for one of my events. how EXCITING. omg, I love life. it's crazy! enter my busy world, would yah?

COMING SOON!!!

$15 photography bookings
so, make sure you keep updated and posted!

<3

Recycled Runway

I don't think I have ever blooged about these two wonderful girls who are the creators of Recycled Runway; Katalina Villalba and Yvonne Montero

Recycled Runway is a blog dedicated to being able to make something out of nothing. Making it work with the most limited of resources. With a little bit of perseverance (because trust us, good things are hard to find) and luck, the best of fashion is in your own backyard. From celebrity to street inspiration, fashion is everywhere. So with Recycled Runway expect so see universal inspiration, thrifty treasures, fashion do's and DON'Ts, some mixing and matching, designer with vintage ensembles, and anything else we pick up on along the way. Expect the unexpected. On that note we leave you without an excuse not to look fabulous.

photo credit : Daniel Yoon Photography
visit : www.recycledrunway.blospot.com
www.myspace.com/recycledrunway

lovely dinner

so, the night started of with me sending him a text that said, "for dinner, i want some big squeezing hugs, nice kisses, and a loverboy to lay right beside. mhmm, sounds yummy :]" and guess, what? I got my lovely dinner. haha lucky girl, I know.


he likey.


in and out <3


mhmmm =]

freaky, or what!

P.S coming soon: POSTED SOCIETY.

one obstacle at a time

Another obstacle solved/put aside. The world isn't ready for us being together, but we're gonna fight every tough battle. Because, I honestly think we can do it. It's gonna be hard, but we're gonna make it work. ♥

hold it. hold it.

I feel like calling you and venting and pouring my heart out. But I have to stay strong. It's just another obstacle that we have to get through.

Simply Complicated

I know I look tired and partially dead. Pretty ironic, though. But anyways, I'm drop dead in love with the black and white photo. I don't know why because my face is blocked. haha but I love it.

credit to: my loverrrrrr

comment the picture on my myspace under my "PHOTOSHOOT" album

Steak to my white rice <3

I love how he never fails to keep me warm in his arms. And, when he spends the entire night with me just so I can have a better chance of actually getting some sleep. He gets me every time with his "manly looks" and dorky laughs. He knows my affections will always be rough, but for some apparent reason, he still accepts the type I give. Even when I know its my fault, he always does his best to make sure I don't go home upset. He constantly spoils me with big, squeezing hugs and undying kisses. Whether he knows it or not; I miss every moment I'm not with him.

Etiam Vita

www.myspace.com/etiamvita
Etiam Vita, is a solo project by Bryant Eslava; he is looking for people who will be willing to model and be blogged about on www.worldcoco.com

stronger than..

"I could have sworn I was strong. Well, at least stronger than these emotions that are taking over me. I swear I'm stronger than these emotions but they're taking over me."

Photo credit Babysister <3

Ride for You

lately, I've been trynna fight whatever's pulling us under.
It's gotta hold and its really making me wonder
what it takes to get through?
I gotta stick with you, my baby.

Baby, tell me:
Maybe I'm foolishly overreacting?
But being without you I can't imagine.
It's just to close to the heart and and
I won't stand it if were broken apart

Do you hear me?
Baby, you gotta believe in the things that
make you & me win together
Don't you throw in the towel.
I'm keeping my promise to you,
I got ya back now.

When the chips are down,
it seems like it's so hard for you to move ahead,
Just know that I am by your side
There aint no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I'm gonna stay down and ride for you, Baby

welcome to the big league shoot

Credit to: KRISKIDD.

recycled benefit drop off shoot

Credit to: Sabrina A.

I feel

like shit.
horrible.
lost.
alone.
at fault.
left behind.
cared.
avoided.

I wish

I was bit better at "talking".

or, somehow my expressions would simply be noticed through any sort of my writings: blog, aim, message, etc..  That way, I wouldn't ever have to talk and I would never lose someone again.  I didn't know expressing my feelings weren't the same thing as talking. I'm so bad it. Shit, I can't even write.  None of this makes sense now does it?  Let's just say I feel like shit, I feel alone, I feel like its nearly impossible to say what crosses through mind.  But  I am sorry. And I am trying, but its hard when I feel like I'm always being lied too, or unwanted, or even alienated at times.   I feel like I'm some sort of trophy or something.   Sounds good though, doesn't it?  It doesn't feel good.  I mean, one minute, to the right group of people I''m being shown off, but another minute to another group of people, I'm just there. It's hard.  And, it hurts.  I'd probably never say it, but it does, it really does.

I don't feel like I know much anymore other than the fact that I feel completely horrible.  I'm so tired of regretting the things I don't say.  Mentally, I know how to fix it, but I just can't physically speak with my mouth.

BUSINESSSSSSS

Need a dance choreographer?
Need a fashion styler? ( for casual or formal occasions)
Wanna be apart of MY make up business?

Email me at: www.jessicanary@hotmail.com

Bob Marley:

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

Photoshoot

The entire event was so amazing and entertaining. World Class Youth had a live DJ, refreshments, and a wonderful team <3. I'm so excited for next month's event! And, too see the outcome of my pictures. I was sooo lucky! In addition to having a regular photo shoot as everyone else, I was able to take pictures with their models, and Mikey Gasher asked me to take a picture holding up a sign that said "going nowhere fast".

Visit there myspace page at: myspace.com/younghollywoodfashion

Stay updated for the new pictures on my myspace. <333

EVENT: Welcome to the Big League
HOSTED BY: World Class Youth
ON: Sunday, March 22nd
ROAMING PHOTOGRAPHER: Lenore M.

backyard shoot

so, my photographer, D, came to my house. We were going to find a spot to take a shoot, and then we decided my backyard would be a good place. even my baby sister got in the pictures. ahhh, I loved it [:

He makes me knows how to make me laugh and smile even when I'm feeling vulnerable. <3

=/

Browzer ran away...
He knows the way home, and he's still not home. He's been missing since about 10am..
I'm scared his hurt..I miss him...I love him..

LOOKBOOK.nu

blahh

I'm at the point where I'm so scared. I know what I want and I know what makes me happy. I just don't know to say it or express it. I've always had a problem of speaking my mind and just practically saying how I feel. I've been working on it, but it doesn't seem like anything has change. And, now I might just lose something special. I don't know what to do. I love my life, I swear I do. I love going to school, working, dancing and cheerleading, and where I'm going. I'm not confused with whether I want to be 'in a relationship' or not. I just don't know how to express it. But maybe its not me. Well, maybe it is me. I don't know. However, I do know this blog does not make any sense. I'm just throwing things at the top of my head. I have a headache from thinking so hard. Maybe we just have two different lifestyles, or want different things. Let's face it, my life revolves around cheer and dancing. It takes most of my time, but I don't wanna give them up...I love what I do....

omg..blahhh, just a whole lot of blahhh.
I need a break, a real break.